disease, death, and doom
hahah, d-day, get it? ooooooooooooh, hilarity.

despite a somewhat deceptive title,
i can assure you that i will refrain altogether
from the topic of the destruction of the world,
the hell of a future for human kind,
or anything along those lines.

no, this rant is a completely personal,
world-revolves-around-me type rant.
and though it is intended, as always,
to be a journal-type piece of writing
through which i can express and share
my thoughts, beliefs, and observations,
i know that you'll just smile
at the every mention of my suffering.

so let's get it over with, shall we?

this rant will be written in a new form,
so bear with me as it will be confusing
in basically every way imaginable.

the idea is for me to put a technical term,
or, i suppose, medical term on "issues"
that i am aware that i have.
(many of you are thinking 'well this is going
to be the longest rant ever written...''
and yes, i know, i have a lot of issues,
but i am so conceited that i don't admit
to most. so here are a handful. and enjoy.

HYPOCHONDRIASIS
this illness, often "referred to as health phobia,"
"refers to an excessive preoccupation
or worry about having a serious illness." 1

symptoms: people suffering from hypochondriasis
are often overly concerned about having disease.
some signs that you may have hypochondriasis include:
obsession with research on latest breakout of disease,
exaggerating the smallest consistencies between
self and patients confirmed with x disease,
or symptoms described on even the most unreliable
of sources. insisting on frequent doctor's diagnosis
and checking self for other disease symptoms
are also common between hypochondriasis patients.

while some people with hypochondriasis
only experience mental or emotional symptoms,
many with the disease suffer physical effects,
such as gastro-intestinal problems, palpitations,
or muscle fatigue

treatment: hypochondriasis is difficult to treat,
because unlike physical, explainable diseases,
hypochondriasis is a psychological issue.
"current research makes clear that this excessive
worry can be helped by either appropriate medicine
or targeted psychotherapy." 1

anecdote: i most definitely suffer this disease.
i think people who are (forced to be) around me
can vouch for me when i say that i openly
display many of these symptoms.
the fact that i am in such suspicion that i suffer
from hypochondriasis is, in itself, proof.
there are many other instances where i have
demonstrated symptoms of hypochondriasis,
including times during research on disease,
whether it be the latest news or (tse tse fly)
a school project. i start to feel the symptoms,
and surely, i have the fatal illness.

also, in response to an older rant,
bridget introduced OCD (next in this rant),
upon which i immediately went to look it up,
and found, that of course, i had it.

ironically enough, when i had weeks of panic
regarding the swine flu pandemic,
i annoyed my parents to such an extent
that they decided to shut me up and get tested.
and then i did have swine flu.

so i would say that if i don't suffer from hypochondriasis,
then i am, undoubtedly, psychic.

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER
kindly introduced to me by bridget a while back,
obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
is a psychological disease involving
"intrusive thoughts that produce anxiety,
by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety,
or by combinations of such thoughts
(obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions)." 2

OCD is something like the top 5 mental disorders.

symptoms: being a mental disease, OCD's
symptoms are found mostly in thoughts.
one sign that one may be suffering from OCD
are repetitive cravings that become needs
(categorized as obsessive, as in the name).
also, feeling like one must or has to do X or Y
falls under the compulsive part of the disease.
these obsessive and compulsive acts
are performed by the patients in an attempt
to lessen an overwhelming amount of anxiety.
however, these acts usually create more anxiety,
which pulls the sufferer into a worsening cycle,
which is what makes OCD so dangerous.

OCD also may bring social effects because
"although the acts of those who have OCD
may appear paranoid and come across to others
as psychotic, OCD sufferers often recognize
their thoughts and subsequent actions as irrational,
and they may become further distressed by this
realization." 2

treatment: there are many different methods
that have proven to be effective in treating OCD.
perhaps the most common one of these is
behavioral therapy, in which patients with OCD
"tolerate the anxiety associated with not
performing the ritual behavior." 2

anecdote:  you're probalby going to disregard
the rest of this rant due to my stupid decision
in putting hypochondria first.

but i have sincere beliefs about this disease,
not just fantastic and random symptoms.
i do know that i have many odd obsessions,
like ranting, making badges, correcting wrongs,
and really strange things along those lines.

i really don't have a reason for doing these things.
it's definitely not my duty, i certainly don't gain,
i just feel like i have to do it, which may make it
both an obsession and a compulsion.

and the clearest thing is that other people
view me as odd, psychotic, and strange,
making me a complete loser which furthurmore
fits the "job description," to use john green's words.

COMPULSIVE OVEREATING
more commonly known as food addiction,
compulsive overeating is quite self explanatory.
people who are compulsive overeaters
make consuming more than they need to
a habit that can virtually not be broken.

"compulsive overeaters will typically eat
when they are not hungry.
their obsession is demonstrated in that
they spend excessive amounts of time
and thought devoted to food,
and secretly plan or fantasize about eating
alone." 3

symptoms: the obvious symptoms of having
food addiction are constantly eating,
even when not hungry, or after having eaten
what is obviously sufficient.
but since overeating creates a lot of nutrients
that are not used/burned or properly digested,
compulsive overeaters often develop more
serious diseases including heart disease,
high cholestrol, diabetes, sleep apnea, and
major depression.

treatment: like diseases described so far,
compulsive over eating/food addiction
may have physical outcomes or effects,
the root of the problem is purely psychologoical,
and can usually be treated by therapy.
"many eating disorders are thought to be behavioral
patterns stemming from emotional conflicts
that need to be resolved in order for the sufferer
to develop a healthy relationship with food." 3

anecdote: all right, i have to be truthful,
and though it will come as a surprise to you,
i don't really think that i have this problem.
yes, i am a food addict, as i always say.
and though i do eat, love to eat, and overeat,
have devloped an irregular eating habit,
spend an unnatural amount of time thinking
about food (example: food addict song),
and am probably going to get obese (already am),
high cholestrol (<- actually would be genetic),
and suffer basically all of the symptoms...

despite all of this, i don't believe i have
the technical "compulsive overeating" issue
because i do not have psychological reasoning
behind my actions in overeating.
i purely overeat because i love food.
as stupid as this all sounds, it's really not
the same thing as what i described above,
because what's above is a serious illness.
and i just love to eat. point made?

let's move on to..

INSOMNIA
insomnia is incorrectly referred to as a disease
by many people, but it is actually not on its own.
it is "a symptom of any of several sleep disorders,
characterized by persistent difficulty falling asleep
or staying asleep despite the opportunity." 4

symptoms: technically, insomnia on its own
cannot have symptoms as it is not a disease.
but people with insomnia usually notice
difficulty falling asleep at night, despite being tired,
or having not slept for a long period of time.
instead or in addition to this,
people suffering from insomnia may not be able
to maintain sleep throughout the night.

treatment: treatment for insomnia includes:
non-pharmaceutical methods such as
hypnotism and cognitive behavior therapy.
medications including various sleeping pills,
benzodiazepines, antidepressants,
and a long list of other medicines
have been proven to be effective as well.

anecdote: as much as i would love to act
as if i am just so bad ass and don't sleep,
or go out partying all night, it's not true.
i just really can't fall asleep at night.
i go to bed as early as... 9 or 10pm,
i stare at my ceiling for hours.
i go through 10s of songs on my ipod,
i make friend's phones go off at odd hours,
but i really can't fall asleep.
counting sheep never works,
i've even stayed in (i swear) the same position
for half an hour, but did not fall asleep.

the fact is, my body is exhausted,
and i need to sleep and everything,
but my mind will not rest.
it just continues to fuss on and on,
worrying and pondering the most random of things.

so after i figured out that i just don't sleep,
i've stopped fighting it and just live that way
(which is probably really unhealthy).
i procrastinate with every imaginable task
up till the last moment,
so i wind up "partying" up till 12-2am.
(in reality this is homework, emails,
reading, and other boring crap.)

i don't have problems sleeping every night,
only some, but has bothersome effects.
i constantly have bags/gray area under my eyes,
which isn't supposed to happen to kids.
i become unaware of my surroundings,
and start to drift/daydream when my body
has reached a real tipping point.
(usually after this, i'll be able to sleep).

i am also not the type of insmonia
that has issues remaining asleep.
once i am asleep, i can sleep endlessly.
which proves to be a problem during
the summer and weekends..

well, i have a lot of problems.
here is another.

AICHMOPHOBIA
aichmophobia (pronunciation ik-mo-fo-bee-a)
is the "morbid fear of sharp or pointed objects
(like needles, knives or even a pointing finger)" 4
aichmophobia is often confused with trypano-
phobia, which is the fear of "medical procedures
involving injections or hypodermic needles." 4

this is different because aichmopohbia is the
fear of the physical sharp point itself,
and can be applied to anything of similar shape
(things with points).
on the other hand, trypanophobia specifies
needles that are related to injections (shots/vaccines).

symptoms: the symptoms of aichmophobia
are more easily recognized than other diseases.
those who are aware of their fear of pointed objects,
including needles, knives, and the like,
can often label their issue as a phobia,
though most may not know that a specific phobia
exists for their exact fear.

anecdote: i most definitely have aichmophobia!!!
i am terrified of needles, knives, razor blades,
and even of applying mascara and lip stick.
i remember very well that one time, in some
situation where i was forced to wear makeup,
every time i closed my eyes my mind would flood
with images of mascara brushes slipping,
and stabbing my eyes, or blood colored lipstick
scribbling over my teeth and chin.

though many children are scared of getting shots,
it is not the shot that actually scares me,
it is the sight and thoughts that come to mind
when i see that thin, metallic blade,
that has the ability to effortlessly pierce my skin.

recently, my strategy of not stimulating my fear
has been to ask my mom, doctor, nurse, etc,
that i not be aware of when the shot is coming
(within an appointment or small time frame).
i'll just look away during whatever the time frame,
and by time i feel the injection in my skin,
the needle isn't waving around in the air,
and there's nothing for me to panic or cry about.

even speaking about needles; describing them in depth,
disturbs me to quite an unnatural extent...

A TENDENCY TO RAMBLE
sorry guys, i realize this was really boring,
and i haven't enlightened you in any way.
i promise my next rant will be more fun.

i have many more problems, but i'll end here.

i also needed to get a rant out today,
because i'm leaving for about  a week for a...
ROAAAAAAAAAD TRIPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahah, i don't know that it will be that exciting,
so i may or may not rant about it when i get back.

as always, badge. i know i'm behind.
but i'll make it up to you with a lighthearted rant
once i return.

odd(ity)
how strange this world is.

*note: do not be confused, this rant was written
on random days over many months to collect
the best of the best of truly "odd" moments for you.

knowing my life and how it operates,
i find myself spending most of life
observing, over-thinking, and questioning
everything around me. and the word
i can use to describe everything is

odd.
to begin with, the word odd itself is..
odd! run it through your head..
several times, feel the pronunciation,
the lettering, the spelling.
and now that you stop to consider it,
it's the oddest word you have
ever come across, isn't it!?

now that we're talking about the depth
and secrets of the english language,
someone on MLIA discovered that
the word bed is in fact, like a bed!
CHECK IT! how cool is that?

and since we're upon topic
of pondering words and language,
i might add that we never really
think about what goes on behind
the language we use to communicate.
the people you talk to,
write to,
call,
email,
text,
etc.
hopefully we understand that english
is derived from several other languages,
and that is how it was decided
what word means what.

but as our we grow,
the connection between object and name
becomes so strong and quick that we
don't need to think about it.

we look up above,
and we immediately think sky.
does it ever occur to us that
it is not in fact "sky"?
in reality, it does not have a name,
but "sky" is only what we choose
to call it in order to refer or communicate
with one another about that.
our "sky" is only an object.
then again, the word "object"
is only a made up title.
all the thoughts in this very email
are only words.. only letters..
only random symbols that we have learned
or been taught to recognize as certain
"letters" that make up "words"
to make up "sentences" and "ideas"
in order for us to communicate with one another.

it's been so long since we've learned our language.
and even longer since our language was created.
clearly, these thoughts don't run through our minds
every day, when we use language to communicate.
it's become more than habit or instinct.
we really believe that "grass" is grass.
and chances are, this is the first time
more than half of you have even stopped to consider it.

it is "odd", isn't it?
that language should be something that is most present
in our day-to day lives. that language is what we depend
on for survival. and yet, it is all unreal?

for those of you panicking or catching your breath,
not to worry, that is the extent of my deep thoughts
for this rant. really, i promise.
now let's leave behind all the thinking about thinking,
and talking about talking, and language about language,
for happier, simpler, day-to-day happenings.
also odd, but take less thinking, like this story about a

guy.
a few months ago, a friend and i
(yes, i have a friend. shocker, i know.)
were walking thru the world-language hallway
during passing time between periods.
as we begin to round the corner,
some random kid emerges from the boys'
bathroom door, bag of lays potato chips in one hand,
opened, other hand reaching in the bag,
transferring food from the bag to his mouth.

alright, so far, the situation isn't odd.
it's just plain nasty. (wouldnt u agree?)
but then, i give him this look, basically a
did-you-really-just-come-out-of-the-bathroom-
eating-a-bag-of-chips?-wow-ur-nasty look.
(if you are familiar with my selection of facial expressions,
you wouldn't blame the poor kid), but then this happens:

the boy responds with a careless, casual shrug,
the famous one-eyebrow-up-one-eyebrow-down look
(that i am ever-so-jealous of), and a condescending
"WHAT, loser?" ("loser" implied.)

by this point i am hurrying away from the
sick kid who probably carries millions of
harmful germs and diseases like strep,
pneumonia, the flu, measles, typhoid,
yellow fever, smallpox, and why not LICE
while we're listing these.
(speaking of smallpox and other extinguished
epidemics, read code orange. sick nasty....
literally.)

and as my pace quickens as i continue
down that hallway, looking back each second
to check that the unsanitary kid isn't following,
i see that the kid is still going
"what?" "what!?" "what's so weird!?"

i find it odd, but if anything is telling me to see
a psychologist for mental help, this is a

sign.
today i was at the stamford library. because:
a) i am a dork.
b) i am a nerd.
c) i am a geek.
d) even though i have the reading abilities
of a preschooler, i like to hold books in
front of my face to act as if i can. how cool.
e) my whole family comprises of
dorks, nerds, geeks, and the like,
and it being father's day,
we go raid stamford of all its indian food,
bookstores, libraries, and brookstone
vibrating pillows like every other father's day.

so here i am in the ferguson/starbucks
joint bookstore, paying for two michael crichtons,
one agatha christie, and two dan browns,
(as my brother says, i am a "brand name shopper"
hahah that's his best joke since kindergarden)
all of which i will be forced by my mom to donate
back to the library later. not because it is
a charity organization, a nice thing to do,
or the right thing to do, but because
"you'll clutter our house with those crappy books."

after eating indian food which is sooooooooooo
delicious, tasty, and addicting, but super spicy
and washing it down with gallons of water afterwards,
i then had the urgent need to go to the bathroom.

after running up a flight of stairs and causing quite
the commotion as i bumped into various shelves
and rattled miscellaneous racks, i came upon...
this sign:
                                

WOMEN'S
RESTROOM

WOMEN ONLY

__________________

and no, though i would very much love to take credit
for the ingeniousness of the creator of this sign,
i cannot do so because it would be a flat-out lie.
now, i can promise you these are the exact words,
exact format, and nearly exact font of the sign
that i truly did come across in the library.

now there are several things that should concern one
when they should come upon a sign like such.

the first thing running through my mind was inquiry..
inquiry of why it should be necessary
for a second line, "women only" to be added.
under normal circumstances, a restroom need only
be labeled by "women's restroom" for it to be
clearly expressed the intent of use in the facilities.

now the next step to understanding the sign
is to consider the audience it is trying to approach.
(many thanks to my language arts teachers)
more specifically - as we know the sign is in plain view
to all who come to use the library's restroom -
to whom is the second line specifically directed towards?

unless i am living under a rock or some separated society,
the average citizen would not need such a reminder.
so who would? let us try to think what was going through
the minds of the creator(s) of this sign.

perhaps it is to the illiterate,
in case they could not read and follow the first line?
perhaps it is to those who are... unaware of their gender status?
(*includes debating, pondering, pending, altering, and undecided)
perhaps it is to those who interpret line one
as merely a suggestion, rather than a rule?

if you have another suggestion, please do inform me,
as that is the extent of my creativity!

here is my next question:
if any such person (listed above) should be a concern,
then how should adding a second line help in any way?
if the reader is illiterate, how will they read line two?
if they are debating gender role, how will line two change that?
if they are generally confused, how is line two to help?

and yet another thing that worries me-
the second line (women only) seems as if it were added
to a previous or original version of the sign, yes?
that means it was proven that this addition be necessary...
through what!? trial and error is the only answer?

this makes me picture the man,
perhaps with alzheimer's, or maybe gay, illiterate,
confused, or etc, sitting in the women's stall.
then a young girl, waiting by the occupied restroom,
and the look on her face when the man exits.
the poor thing... so young, innocent, unprepared...
she had so much more life to live on,
so much potential in the wonderful world.
but instead, she was scarred for life and spent
the remainder of her life to rot in the shadows.

thank goodness a clearer sign was put up!
whatever would we do without it?
yes, the selfless soul who thought to improve that sign
deserves an award of citizenship, honor, and bravery.
from this day on, not another innocent mind should spoil.
yes, the clever creator of that sign has made the world...
a better place.

only because i'm not the best at hinting sarcasm,
i'll let you know that was completely sarcastic.
i think the person who created that sign, and/or
the person that proved it be necessary truly deserve--
douchebag of the day awards from sxephil
(Phillip DeFranco, Youtube, not sexy, but awesome!)

not only does this happening display extreme stupidity,
but it most definitely exemplifies oddity.
                                ^ new word for me, i'm so proud!
and that brings us to our

conclusion.
the fact that i choose to remember and write these
situations down is.... odd.

the fact that each are very different lengths is not only
a that's-what-she-said (maybe?) but also... odd.

the fact that you have read all of this, still stand me,
have not filtered my email address, blocked me on IM,
or punched me in the face is more odd than anything.

as always, a badge is rewarded.

and i know i have 5 (now 6) badges that i owe you,
but i PROMISE and SWEAR (on something i believe in)
that you will receive them in the next six months.

swine flu
a very important story/message

so.... tests are back and i had the swine flu.
and i though it only appropriate to write a rant.

i- world chaos and panic
the radio broadcasts nothing but it.
the television blasts 24 hours a day about it.
the paper has nothing but articles about it.
schools everywhere talk nothing but it.

now i'm pretty sure the world will end in 2012.
why? because we are digging our own grave,
we are making all matters worse,
we are taking one small event, and stretching it
until we create world chaos and panic
that distracts all from their work, learning, and lives.

it probably never crossed your mind
that you can't think of anyone you know
that suffered greatly, had their life affected,
or died due to swine flu. did it?
on the other hand, hundreds of other diseases
have affected our loved ones..
and perhaps our lives as well.

and yet, what is taking over your life?
what has crept into your life,
and without you even preventing or controlling it,
has consumed most of your time and attention?

swine flu.

can you name a disease that kills tens of thousands
of americans (not even of world population) every year?

how about the flu? (36,000) effects of smoking? (44,000)
cancer? (55,000) pneumonia? (60,000) and most of all-
effects of alcohol (85,000)
and how many lives in our country have been claimed by swine flu?
i can't even find that information!
(if you can, let me know and i will send to everyone).
there are 10,000 cases in the world, a small fraction of which
is in in united states, an even slimmer fraction of which have died.

and yet, what has been broadcasted non-stop in the last month
throughout every form of existing media?

swine flu.

let us discuss who it is that is actually affected by swine flu,
let alone dies from it.

- people in third world countries, where there are not the resources
to cure fevers or coughs, and people die/suffer from such symptoms.
in the united states and any other developed nation,
we take a motrin.. and advil... or one of many fever/pain killers.
- people who are already extremely ill or frail, (suffering from another disease)
and their bodies are already working to fight off such germs.
- people who cannot afford or are unable to get medical help
or refuse to recognize the symptoms (would rather make income).

these same people, listed above, die from world poverty/hunger,
common colds, and other things we don't even have to worry about.
and yet, you don't see information on these things filling the media.

well i have news for you:
everyone of of YOU that i am emailing at this moment
has complete access to everything they would need
should they be infected with swine flu.
this country is completely capable of curing any cases
of swine flu with its modern technologies and medicines.

you need to understand that the chances of you getting
swine flu are small (i am willing to give you $20 if you get it),
and even if you do, there are medicines all around you
that will help you get better nearly INSTANTLY because
that is the kind of world we are living in.

swine flu is a concern where they are unable to treat it.
(joining the list of several other diseases worldwide).
why should wine flu have the "privilege" of hogging the media
if world poverty, hunger, and common colds kill many times more?

in our nation especially, the media is something
that most of the population is able to access.
this means it is a way for everyone to get informed,
stay together, and create a united, educated nation.

what we don't need and can't have is confused, panicked people.
and what's not helping is the clueless, uninformed people
that are running our media. when people are uninformed,
they choose not to find all the facts, but spread what they know
because it appears to be some secret that needs to be shared.
but when the spread of few facts occurs,
the spaces in between truths are filled with guesses.
these guesses are assumed to be truths,
and soon, everyone is running around screaming lies.

i'm not saying that i have access to the facts that the media doesn't.
i don't have any facts at all. i just know what i have been seeing
around me; on the news, the radio, online, in the papers.
and i know what i have been through with this disease.
i also know about other diseases, and can put 2 and 2 together
(don't comment) to make the comparison, and overcome general chaos
to use my own mind to come to the conclusion that this whole event
is being blown to the extreme.

ii- the true extent of swine flu
my immune system is normal as far as i know.
i have had a little more than what i'd guess is the average
amount of diseases/viruses/etc.
i catch whatever my friends have,
fight it off with the help of medicines,
and am back in school within a day or two.

and i caught a normal case of swine flu.
i woke up tuesday after memorial day with a headache,
had a fever, called in sick, and went back to sleep.
throughout that day i took a lot of motrin/advil and had
a bad headache, coughing (not a tell-all symptom for me,
nearly always confused with my more-than-mild asthma).
the next morning i woke up late, my parents decided to let me sleep.
i went to the doctor to see what it was that i had had.
(i suspected sinus infection, swine flu, or strep)
strep was negative. next day, (general) flu test was positive.
and over a week later, swine flu test came back positive,
to everyone's shocking surprise (but mine).

i wasn't allowed to go back to school for 7 days
once they heard i had the flu (typical)
(no one knew about swine though, including me).

i felt fine on wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday,
sunday, and monday, but couldnt go back until tuesday.

there is a good reason i wasn't allowed at school,
i may have been contagious and they didn't me to spread it.
fair enough. but if this logic makes sense,
the same rules should logically be applied to the common cold!
it really is no worse, and if this is the so-called "swine flu"
i could have had it ten times before without even knowing!

if you spend enough time with me, you know i'm constantly
feeling crappy, and always suspected swine flu.
yes, i joined the rest of the stereotypical misinformed world
(though i am ashamed to admit now) and believed w/e i heard.

i now know that this "swine flu" is no worse than a cold,
deserves no more than 1/100th of the fuss it has gotten,
is easily curable, and no one is aware of how minor it is!!!

i've wanted to write this rant for the longest time,
but couldn't write it without being totally evidence-less
until i caught it myself.
and if i'm not evidence enough, i dont' know what i can do for you.

iii- hypocritical, but while i'm with it...
okay, you better understand now what a small deal
swine flu really is (otherwise i dont know what to say).

i've tried to pick out arguments whenever it comes up,
but i don't have the enthusiasm to scream into the face
of everyone i meet, including my best friends.
no one is going to believe me over world media.
i hope the fact i got swine flu proves my point and
maks you happy.

now for the hypocritical part...
you know i have enemies. and you know i have revenge.
(TOTALLY UNHEALTHY, not reccommended, rant later!)
anyways, i decided that once i knew i had had swine flu,
there were two things i could do:

a. shut up and keep it private so people don't leave me
in a five foot bubble of no contact.

b. spread school chaos

and i'm sorry, but the opportunity was just too great.
media is getting everyone panicked, and i just had
the disease at just the right (and only) time...
so i tried to put plan B into major action...  or not?

situation one:
located by lockers.
me: *leans close to victim and slips in a few coughs*
oh, hey george. you know i got my swine flu test back
and i have it?! (partially a lie, i had it)
george: oh, so? (with not half the enthusiasm i had hoped for)
me: no, seriously, i HAVE swine flu
george: yeah, i know, i heard you the first time.
what'd you think of the math finals?
me: oh, it wasn't that it was hard,
it was just really long.
george: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
me: UGH (because that just scares off all enemiess
i hate you! i'll give you SWINE FLU!
george: awesome, i'd get to miss SCHOOL!

situation two:
computer lab
me: oh hey, brian, i have swine flu you know?!
brian: no you don't.
me: no, really, i do.
brian: no... you don't.
me: (frustrated, realize i don't have proof).
yeah, i seriously do.
brian: that's not even funny.
me: OH MY GOD! don't you get it!?
i HAVE swine flu! for real!!
brian: umm, i'm pretty sure you don't.
me: you want to call my MOM and ask?
the school is sending out an EMAIL.
i HAVE SWINE FLU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
brian: *turns back to computer and
continues to type for rest of class period*

situation three:
hallway.
random kid i don't know: oh hey,
you're the one with swine flu, right?
me: (loss of words, so shocked that someone is interested!
all i can think to say yup.
random kid i don't know: cool.
and our paths split.

and all other instances fall under one of those three categories.
not as exciting as i had hoped.

and, through writing this very rant, i have changed my motives
and now turn to plan A which consists of un-spreading world chaos.
and i hope you join me on this mission...
to save the world...

random relevations
i know it's revelations, its just my word

this is a super-quick rant,
as i am supposed to be
out the door by now.

please excuse any spelling/
grammatical errors i have 5mins.

in a barn
i'm going to spend the weekend
with the awesomest people in the world
(only the coolest family friends
any of you could ever have)
in a mystery location
that i do not know about.

harry potter
long story short, i sat on my phone,
phone cracked in star shape.
i am clearly related to harry potter.
i am able to levitate, read minds,
and predict the future
(still working on many others).

i also met harry potter at the
super market the other day.
he was my bag check guy,
with the code name "nick".
clearly, harry potter, with all
that fame surrounding him,
cannot go out in public with
"I AM HARRY POTTER"
written all over him!

to save him the humiliation,
i did not hug my long lost
relative out of happiness,
but the sparkle in his glasses
said it all.

yes world, i am related to harry potter.
and i just met him at food emporium.

athiest in a church
alright so i am undecided
on topic of religion,
but my mom is athiest
and my dad is hindu
but does not practice often.

so when my first trip to
a catholic church
is for a piano recital,
you just can't expect me to do well.

God (<- i capitalized it!)
was punishing me for a life
full of sins and lack of practice.

my accompanist ditched 15 minutes before,
and i had to suddenly play solo.
and i had to look at my music
while i played,
which is like the unwritten rule among musicians.
if you dont memorize, dont show up!

but when you play in a group,
it is "allowed" to use music.
but all of a sudden,
i was back to being soloist
(like all years before)
and had to embarrass myself
by staring at the music the whole time.

believe it or not, i was fine
through tens of pages....
upon the last page, however,
i hit this random, awkward flat
that wasn't in the key signature!
it was awful!
my eyes were glued to the music
the entire time,
i trusted my fingers to find the keys
but i just messed up what is
probably one of the most beautiful
pieces of music ever written.
(according to my mum anyways).
concerto 21 in c - mozart

the food addiction song
i returned from the recital at 11 at night,
hyper after ruining the performance,
and made up the best song/chat ever.

two four six (e)ight
you ain't got no appetite
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

one three five seven
we're gonna get fat just like kevin
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

two four six eight
hell yeah, we're gonna gain weight
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

one three five seven
there better be food up in heaven
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

one two three four
i've finished my plate, can i have some more?
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

four three two one
if you dont give me food, i'll pull out my gun!
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

five six seven eight
food is somethign nobody can hate
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

eight seven six five
without food, how would u survive?
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

nine ten eleven twelve
oh don't mind me, i'll help myself
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

twelve eleven ten nine
don't touch that! that food is mine!
we food addicts
we, we, we food addicts

(temp ending
12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
say what? you don't like food!?
welll.. SHUN!!!

i know, i'm amazing!
see you monday i have to run!
(ps, major record 8 minutes!)

summer '09
self explanatory, right?

let's point out the obvious: it's summer.
to the most amazing people in the world:
how has your summer vacation been?
i apologize for not sending this earlier...
or perhaps i apologize for sending it at all,
whichever of the two suits you better.

i'm going to ask something of you now,
because most won't make it to the bottom.
please tell me all about your summer so far,
and future plans if you have them...
something you're completely proud of?
any AFV moments? (to be explained more)
something you definitely regret doing?
i'm all ears for your stories! so please share

let's point out the obvious: i am lazy.
the first thing i ought to get out of the way,
is explanation for the long pause in rants...
in all honesty i have no reasonable excuse.

but i think we can all agree about one thing,
summer brings about a mutual feeling of....
relief, relaxation, which in turn brings laziness.
with no solid schedule to follow or work to do,
our bodies and minds just lose their attentiveness.
there's no reason to wake up early, so why bother?
i can do it tomorrow, so why should i finish today?
in an endless paradise, i've all the time in the world.

(or is this just the story of my life, as it usually is?)

the day school was let out, i, being myself,
wasn't only looking forward to vacation spots,
camp, and leaving behind all school work.
nor was it fact that i no longer had to wake up
(though i do love being able to sleep once more).

in the back of my mind, i was looking forward to
having the time and ability to constantly
prepare rants, photo edit, upload youtube videos,
compete in piano, finally finish my sketching project,
paint a canvas for my dining room wall,
and all the crazy dorkish things i do.
yes, the things that nearly everyone around me
views as pointless, time-wasting crap,
but i cherish as my soul expressed through art.

that is, if my dinky creations are considered art.

clearly, none of that ended up happening.
my general laziness, combined with summer daze,
led to absolutely zero progress and outcome.
this is why i now spend each night hoping
that some mysterious force will come to me,
and help me learn 23 pages of music by sept.

and i'll have to get around to that idiot-as-hell
school summer project.

let alone extra creative work i want to do.

kids, this is the terrible effect of procrastination,
laziness, and being overly ambitious.
you won't end up finishing things in time,
and will find yourself stressing and crying on
other people's shoulders. it's true. exhibit a^

so i have about a month of vacation left,
and it's become my goal not to get stuff done,
but to get myself motivated in order to
get things done in the (near) future.
that is the way the democrats do it.

(and i'm allowed to make fun of anything politics,
1- because it is pretty dammm obvious that
i have no idea what i am talking about
and therefore my opinion has no affect whatsoever,
2- i'm not necessarily democrat
though i seem very against bush/for obama,
the truth is that is simply coincidence,
for i just flip a coin and intensely cheer for a candidate)

this means, if plans do work out as planned,
you'll be getting more rants the rest of summer.
sorry. throw rotten tomatoes at me
http://www.tomatocasual.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/rotten.jpg
the more times you copy and paste and send,
you'll be higher up on my hater list.
let's make it a contest, starting now.

let's point out the obvious:
pathetic is my middle name
on a less depressing note,
let us discuss the highlights of summer break.
of course, you'll be the ones supplying your
fun, happy, exciting; family, friend moments
and i will be telling you my pathetic stories.

the barn incident:
i faintly remember mentioning in a rant
that i was going to a barn for the weekend...
well, it didn't turn out to be a barn... lol.
(there was a barn, but we stayed in the house)
my fail. but you should be accustomed to it.
the house was very homely & elegant in the day,
but at night it was exceedingly spooky,
along with the acres around it.
and this is why my family friends & i decided to...
<intense, scary intro music created by forest>
CREATE (ech create create create create....
A a a a a a...... LORD lord lord lord lord lord.....
OF of of of of of THE the the the the the...
RINGS RINGS rings rings rings rings rings.....
REMAKE remake remake remake remake remake
<credits>

and that was about the extent of our movie XD
but it was still so much fun to make w awesome ppl.
but this is all besides the point.
(though there isn't much of a point to begin w)

on the property there was a wonderful lake,
for swimming, paddling in a blow-up boat,
making intense lord of the rings clips, and what not.

being the last family to arrive at the property,
we find an empty house and far away voices.
of course, we run down to find them swimming.
fully dressed, i can't yet get into the water,
but i look over the edge and attempt to test
the water using my foot.

with my coordination skills that never fail to impress,
i of course, lose my balance, with all my clothes on,
sliding down the thick mud bank on my butt,
landing directly in the water.
was still a wonderful weekend. <3

i call this one of my many "AFV" moments.
signs of an AFV moment are as follows:
- your bum hurts
- you are in some kind of physical pain
- people around you are laughing hysterically
- you wish you had had a camera

all of my AFV moments are similar,
so i won't bore you with all of the details:

the kayak incident:
went kayaking at a stamford beach.
reached out to grab some algae/seeweed.
flipped the kayak with my immense weight.
me in water.

the pool incident:
i was pushed, so that wasn't my fault.

the mall incident:
at the 99% off clearance rack at the limited.
(as always).
wearing stupid wooden shoes with no traction.
fell.
brought rack with me.

something that wasn't necessarily AFV,
but more of a general FAIL by me was
a surprise moving away party for katia
whom all of us will die without in the next years!
one thing- she wasn't surprised.
ooohh dear don't make me plan things.
katia WE WILL MISS YOU SO MUCHHH!

let's point out the obvious: you get a badge.
if i say another word, you'll probably take out a gun
and demolish your monitor,
so i'll do your parents a favor and save them the $.

out to get me
i am stalked. by the world.

by now, most of you understand that
i am always afraid of being stalked.
(ironically, i am quite a stalker myself)
i jump at every suspicious sign,
every suspicious comment,
any suspicious movement, in fear
that i am being followed.

i'm telling you, the world is out to get me.

public libraries just aren't safe anymore
on wednesday, my family walked to the library
(showing what nerds we are.)
and i swear there was a black van following us
nearly the entire distance.
it would pass us (obviously driving faster),
and then disappear from view.
minutes later, it would pull out from a sidestreet,
joining us on our walk, then disappear---
repeating its maneuvers again.

once in the library, i was storming all around,
quite angry because i couldn't find the books
that i had been looking for.
(no one gave ME the notice that DaVinci
was TWO WORDS: Da Vinci!!!! JESUS!
and they put michael crichton under FICTION
instead of SCIENCE FICTION! what is this!?)

taking a break from displaying my frustration
with the bank of search- computers,
i looked up from the screens to search for
a librarian who could solve the mystery
of the missing davinci code or explain
the jumbled mess of michael crichtons.

instead, i caught sight of a figure on the floor above,
leaning suspiciously on the handrail,
his gaze cast downward towards my exact position.

shivering, i paced the length of the computer bank,
in attempt to escape his field of vision.
deciding to face the enemies,
i gathered up my courage and decided to
head towards them rather than run away in surrender.

as i headed up the stairs to the top floor,
the strange hooded, shadowy figure traveled
the same staircase in opposite direction,
and i am sure that he gave me an evil eye
from beneath his concealing cloak.

minutes later, i was sitting before the BAC-CLA
shelf in the fiction section of that upper floor,
two-foot (no exaggeration) pile of michael crichton
science fiction thrillers besides me.
mom said i could take two, but which two?.....
(i'm so grown up that my mom still puts
restrictions on the number of books i can take out)

as i scan the backs of the novels two at a time,
i sensed a sudden movement in the corner of my eye,
and the pages of my open books ruffled,
as if disturbed by some sort of breeze.
something had traveled past the aisle.

with the bookshelves arranged so (x representing me):
_______   _______   _______
_______   _______   _______
___x___   _______   _______
_______   _______   _______
_______   _______   _______
_______   _______   _______

there was open space between the
horizontal rows for vertical movement,
and i was sure something had just passed by.

quickly and boldly, i dashed into the open aisle,
looking for a possible predator seeking my destruction.
to my shocking surprise, i found the aisle...
empty.

gathering my courage, i marched up and down
through all the aisles, searching out any signs of life.
exasperated from my useless efforts,
i stopped in my tracks to listen for sounds of
footsteps, or breathing.

the floor was deserted.

longing for my family's protection, i quickly grabbed
one of ten copies of the davinci code from a shelf,
and hurried down the steps, looking back only once.
the sight i witnessed caused all coordination
between brain and body to cease, as if a power plug pulled,
or wire cut. my legs continued to move with momentum,
and i nearly tumbled down the stairs.

what had i seen? that same dark, mysterious, hooded figure,
posed suspiciously once again by the top of the stairs,
looking down upon me as a hawk eyes its prey.

how had he gotten there? i will never know.

running now, i fumbled for the self-check out,
and urged my family to begin walking home, before it got dark.

and this little piggy ran all the way home.

the hallways just aren't safe anymore
it's difficult to pinpoint an exact date or time
for this event, for it happens nearly every day.
though i'd like to assume you have endured
similar events, as always, you haven't.

let us say it is thursday, as that is the day
i have violin during period three,
and the day i always wind up traveling
the empty, silent, lack-of-video-camera halls
alone, unprotected, and weaponless.

(i always wind up a few minutes late for this class,
and by the time i get to this far corner of the school,
the few people who do take violin are already in class,
meaning i am alone in the hallways.)

it all begins when i take a right turn out of
the world language hallway, and continue walking,
past the gym hallway, and through an eerie corridor
with large windows and lockers closing in upon
travelers, enclosing them in a narrow, dimly lit space.

this is where i normally recognize symptom #1
of being stalked: footsteps.
though i described these halls as empty on this day,
it is not unusual for a few oddlings to be ambling
around as well. 

without surprise, i turn around to see who is there.
when no one is behind me, i figure that they have
turned into an intersecting hallway, not to be seen again.

so i keep walking.

less than a moment later, the footsteps continued.
surely my ears were deceiving me,
or the hallway traveler's footsteps were still echoing
down a side hallway.

but the footsteps failed to fade out.
instead, they seemed closer than ever.
my strides became shorter, my walking slowed.
as if sensing my suspicion,
the footsteps died out as well.

as my pace quickened, the footsteps would continue,
when i slowed -to listen closely- they would fade.
fed up, i strolled halfway down the hallway,
and quickly spun around, expecting to catch the predator
in action. what do i find?

nothing.
all was still, with the exception of a locker that creaked
slowly on its hinge, as if startled by my sudden movement.

now extremely suspicious, i headed towards the locker,
and cautiously opened the door. a few papers fell out;
a failed pre-algebra quiz (sucka!) and some vocabulary worksheets,
along with a few orbit gum wrappers.
i noticed the backpack stored inside was a bit too large
and hung out, preventing the locker from shutting.
this was why it was hanging open,
not because the predator had run for cover.

only then did i experience symptom number two:
breathing. a deep, slow, moist, rhythmic exhale
down my neck.
this time, my body reacted quickly, acting before
my brain could consent (well... perhaps this is a
daily occurrence).
fist-shaped arm swung behind me in a fan shape,
knocking any solid matter with great force within
a two and a half food radius. and yet, i felt no contact..
only a teacher closing her classroom door halfway
down the hallway looked at me curiously,
with a look half of confusion, half of concern about
this poor, mentally unstable, deranged little girl.
at this, i pretended to be quite busily swatting an insect.
i wasn't in the mood to spend hours assuring the
asylum workers of my peace at mind yet again.

finally, i came to my conclusion. the predator was...
intangible. yes, i was sure of it.
i had only justified it with the swing of the arm.

deciding that i had no chances up against such an enemy,
i clutched my binder close to me and ran all the distance to orchestra.

elderly people just aren't safe anymore...
yes, it's always the innocent looking old lady in her late 70s,
armed only with tiny purse and walking stick,
with thin, white strands of hair with only speckles of gray remaining,
sweet and innocent smile, charming, soft, gentle voices..
yes, these elderly people are the ones you should be running from.
these elderly people are the ones you will be running from
once i describe their secretly camouflaged weapons....

tiny purses function as the perfect beating device,
for disintegrating bones and soft, smooth flesh
could never complete the mission they are sent on.
inside the purse, their "lipstick" serves as very handy
laser devices, that can cut through any wall,
for a perfect get-away when their weakening muscles
won't carry them all the way to the door.
their bottle of perfume really contains the newest
knock-out spray, which will paralyze all humans/animals
within 10 feet's distance for a minimum of three minutes.

walking sticks contain their rifles. once a secret code-
a specific pattern of taps is entered into the stick,
the bottom end of the stick will unhinge to unveil the rifle,
which will fire at the twist of the cane end of the walking stick.

and of course, they posses charming, sweet voices
that coax small children to sample from a bowl of peppermint,
share their name, phone number, and why not address as well?

how do i know this? why do i share this with you?
because guess what world!?
you may not know it, but i have a little thing called COMMON SENSE.
and when you put two and two together, you can process these things.
now, i will expose you to the light, the light that has been shaded
from you your entire life by the ENA (evil nannies' association).
this may be the best-kept secret of world history...
(other than the secret of the holy grail, that is xD)
so prepare yourself for the astonishing truth:

every time you go to the library, and that kind, elderly librarian
politely asks that you write down your name, computer number,
time, and date, on that clipboard in order to access a computer,
do you think about what they do with such information?
you haven't thought about that, have you?

every time the senior volunteering to run the welcome desk
at your school in the mornings or afternoons asks you your name,
or what grade you're in.. perhaps even offers you a taffy
(because all old people carry taffy around)
have you ever thought why? why they woudl do such?

no, elderly people are not just nice.
they have a reason to act nice.
this is to attract children.
yes, to attract their prey.
the way that butterflyfish have a pretend eye,
the way flounders are flat on the seafloor,
the way that chameleons camouflage with their surroundings,
is the same way the elderly are sweet and kindly.

it is not just a personality,
it is a way of life...

shadows just aren't safe anymore...
i'll trying to fall asleep at night, and of course,
the head of my bed has a direct view at the window.
my eyes closed, body half asleep,
i'll begin to hear odd scratching noises outside.
i look up, to see a dark figure scraping on my window,
knotted, gnarly fingers scrambling,
struggling to find an opening, crawl inside, and kill me.

in panic, i flip on the lights
(because turning on the lights is sure to scare away
mr. mass murderer with loaded weapons in hand),
only to see the figure is only the shadow of a tree,
that has only been standing outside my room
for the past two and a half years.
nevertheless, i can promise you the events i describe above
are nightly occurrences. i'm not the brightest of lightbulbs.
but of course, you already knew that.

two dimensional, lifeless objects can stalk too.
like the "no aliens" stickers located "coincidentally"
everywhere that i would go daily.
the stop sign on my street corner, on the header
at my dance school, on the back of my schoolbus, etc.

or those stamped letters that are all around the school.
not only did the green "T' mysteriously appear on my locker,
but i notice various other "signs" all around the school.

they are stalking me... they are trying to tell me something.
a message i have yet to decode... do all the clues lead somewhere?
or is it a trap? a taunting path that leads directly to my fate?
i feel like i am inside the da vinci code...
(but in that case, all you have to do is go to the SHINY PYRAMID
at the VERY BEGINNING of the whole mystery before you
WASTE YOUR LIFE AWAY and RISK IT several times on a
QUOTE-UNQUOTE adventure that leads you RIGHT BACK
to where you started! A!$*)!@*(%()!@*%)(* #()!%*()!#%*)!#())#%()

before i drift off topic, i think i'm going to get of my computer.
your reward will be something if you read this fully
(which i don't expect any of you to do, for i believe it's record length)
to find out what you'll get, you'll just have to put the clues together...
(i'm only joking, that line was only for effect, there are no clues.)
or are they?

sighs... way too much free time, way too much free time.
i need to find a hobby.

xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxxo,

march madness
from the viewpoint of an athletic failure

this year, i've finally decided to
actually get involved in march madness
so that i can attempt to understand
the conversations that take place
between some of my more athletic friends
yes, i have friends, FUNNY guys.

(you alL dEfinItely Got know wHiCh
peOple i'm talking aboUt foR iT could
Never bE more easY to guess.)

why i love basketball
we all know i am a complete athletic failure,
and can't pull enough coordination to play
any sport. (emphasis on "any")
nevertheless, i love watching basketball
because it is probably the only sport
(emphasis on "the")
that a total idiot can watch and still
be able to understand what is going on.
if you don't understand the concept
of running to the metal ring with strings
hanging from it and throwing the brown-colored
sphere into it, i can't help you.

this rant is why i manage to enjoy basketball.

he did it!
don't you just love it when a foul is called,
and you see all the tough 7' players
point fingers at each other!?
it's like,  i know my brother and i do that all the time,
but really? professional athletes,
playing the same game? kind of silly. xD

when the big guys flop on the ground
when one guy is gently shoved by another,
i absolutely love it when the guy "assaulted"
falls on the ground and starts flailing his arms,
hoping for a foul to be called.
not only are these guys supposed to be tough
and all, but it's such a waste of time to be
lying there and trampled as the game continues.

when the big guys get nosebleeds
hahahahhaah when the like BIGGEST guy
on the oklahoma team was sitting out
with toilet paper up his nose, i was laughing
SO HARD. hahahahah. roflmaoooooooo
SUCK IT UP!!!

when the big guys have squeaky sneakers
my favorite part of watching basketball
is no doubt when you hear 20 pairs of sneakers
squeaking like hell (idk how that metaphor works).
it is the funniest thing. and most entertaining.
(let's take this opportunity to remind everyone
that i have a strange strange mind,
and the majority of my thoughts fall along these lines).

when there's that short little guy amongst
all the tall, tough, big, buff guys
(of course, he turns out to be 8" taller than my dad)

when the cheerleaders cheer for the wrong team
(okay, this is still fantasy) but how great would this be!?
the worst part of basketball is definitely those STUPID
girls with skimpy outfits, neon hair scrunchies,
temporary tattoos glued onto their faces, those stupid
balls of shredded paper that they toss around in their hands,
and the idiotic cheers. !()#57@#)%*(@#& HATE THEM!
(sorry cheerleaders! but it's not you, it's only them)

vitamin water
now, i've never liked vitamin water.
but for some reason, it still makes it into the list
of reasons of why i love march madness.
when you see the bball players being handed
vitamin water, you know it's an advertisement/
sponsorship type thing, but yet,
you feel this strange connection...
it's like, "wow, they drink the same artificial
flavored drinks that i do. they're not supernatural/
gods/inhuman/etc."
idk, is this just me? (not a first)

loose ball
wow. it just surprises me when you see the
ball roll loose in professional basketball.
i mean, i know that when i play basketball
i constantly dribble the ball on my foot
(that arch part on the top part of the foot
where the leg, ankle, and top-face of the foot
meet... you know?) and then because of the angle,
the ball rolls in the opposite direction,
towards the other team.
or i stand underneath the hoop when a team
scores, the ball bounces off my head,
and starts to roll away.
or someone passes to me when my back is turned,
it knocks me down, and once again,
the ball rolls away.

this is the typical life of the below-average
athletic failure, but when similar things are seen
in college basketball in competition for spots
in the sweet sixteen, you'd think such
mistakes could be avoided.

not saying that i could do better up there,
(because you just laugh when you pic that)
but really!?

doggy pile!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahh
you know what i'm talking about
how mature.

what a waste of towels
i hate it when you realize how many frikkin
towels are wasted on the sweat of these
stupid athletes.  i mean, COME ON.
even if each player needs a towel to dab
his sweat, do you really need a new,
clean, freshly washed, brand new towel
each and every time a droplet of perspiration
forms on the edge of your brow? do you!?
on a flippin five by three foot towel,
can you not find the space to wipe another
bit of sweat!? really!? REALLY!?
did you realize that every towel you wash,
contributes to GLOBAL WARMING!?

when there's crazy fans like brendan baker
hahhaha, like the syracuse fans that paint their
faces orange and blue (future life of baker.)

coaches and athletes
seriously, how tall are those coaches? five feet?
and how tall are the athletes? seven feet?
the coaches wear suit and ties?
the athletes wear baggy uniforms?
i think it's just strange to see people
in such contrast as part of the same team.
and that these semi-formally dressed
coaches actually boss around the team!

when the refs are always too fat for their uniforms
is it not a requirement for referees
to be too fat for their uniforms?
every single ref i've seen always has a pot belly
that is bursting in a black & white pinstripe shirt,
belly fat hanging over belt buckle.

when manners win
all our lives, our parents have tried
desperately, efforts in vain,
to teach us our manners.
the thing is, we've rarely seen manners
actually come into play in life.
when have manners won you something?
though it's always nice to be kind,
or dab your chin with a silky napkin,
it seems that in this dog-eat-dog world,
the rough, tough, pushy, bossy people
win.

in basketball, you would expect
(more than ever)
that kind qualities disappear.
you would think that, as always,
pushing others aside to get your way
would bring you glory.

on the contrary.

if you take a look at the statistics,
the teams with less fouls usually wins.
i think this is great because for once,
something teaches the life lesson that
kindness, allowance, and plan
self-restraint-of-attacking-

BUDGET CUTS!?

Nooo! Global Warming Club has recently gotten cut down to one day a week due to budget reductions in town! Of ALL things that could have been cut, the anti-global warming activists? REALLY!? We are the ones who recycle all the school's paper, promote environmental awareness, sponsor and design school-wide activities to encourage eco-friendliness (okay, so it's still in the works), and who dedicate the time to join this club to be labeled "nerds" (even if true)!!! To say "oh, go home" to these people is OUTRAGEOUS, i tell you! OUTRAGEOUS! You will pay! Only when the polar bears are extinct, the ice caps have melted, flooding New York City with 200 feet of water, causing the empire state building to hardly breal the surface, and average temperatures rise to 100 degrees Farenheight, ONLY THEN, will you REGRET THIS DECISION! Oh yes, it will be all YOUR (not you, poor reader, i am speaking to school board) fault! YOU WILL HAVE LED THE WORLD TO ITS END, all because you cut ONE club!!!

If this is the future you hope for our world, SO BE IT, you will GET YOUR FATE!!!!!
muahahahhahahahah!

an ideal world where
preschoolers rule?
not as off as you think it is
warning: serious-ish rant. kind of.

we all know preschool was great.
preschool was when there was nap-time
(versus now we get 6 hrs of sleep),
in preschool there was no homework
(versus now we get 4 hrs of hw),
in preschool everyone was HAPPY,
we were all friends, and life was heaven on earth.
(where as life now SUCKS).

besides all this, i strongly believe
that our ideal/model world SHOULD
be a world where everyone leads a life
similar to that of a toddler. no joke.

hear me out before you call the mental hospital

1- colors didn't matter
racism wasn't a problem,
because the kids didn't know what
race was or how to determine it.
even if they did, they didn't judge!
everyone was a blissful, fun-loving
child just beginning to learn the ultimate
lesson of life and love on earth.

these children have not yet been poisoned
with the very evils that ruin our world.
toxins like discrimination, racism, hate, and war.

2- uniqueness
"unique" has a strange meaning
upon people our age...
supposedly, "unique" is a good thing.
but, you walk around, and you see
every single girl in the school wearing
abercrombie skinny jeans and uggs.
every girl shops at the brand-name stores.
(which btw, i have nothing against,
i just dont believe in. still love the clothes).
at the same time, i've seen people
absolutely FREAK out when discovered
they're wearing the same top..
ummm... how do you expect not
to wear the same clothes when you all
shop at the same five stores?

preschool is where to understand
the true concept of uniqueness.

3- think before you leap? naww...
in preschool days, we never thought
before we jumped into a "fiery pit
filled with death and disease".
consequences didn't exist.
when we (with mom's help) pulled
on green leggings, orange socks,
a pink turtle neck and blue overalls,
we didn't think or care what other people
would think.

we didn't spend every second
of our lives worrying about our
appearances as how other people
would see us.
preschool was about doing whatever
you wanted, however you wanted.

life wasn't about creating an image
that other people would love.
life was about building yourself as a person
in a way that you loved and felt comfortable.

our actions were determined by
what we wanted,
not what other people would think,
or by what the consequences would be.

4- to heck with napkins
probably my favorite point.
and as you guess, it involves:
- endless supply of food
- when you're allowed to be fat
- cleanliness didn't matter
- you could walk around with
crumbs from your chocolate cake
smudged on your face,
and have absolutely nobody care

food is my life. sorry to friends,
bug off to family, and screw
school and the arts.
food takes first priority. hands down.
i'm only joking guys! i'm not that shallow!

but my obsession with food
is not a joke, you'll see in a rant called
"crash course on food addiction".
coming soon.
(knowing me, that means a few months min.)

5- my best friend? everyone.
unlike our world now, back in preschool,
we were best friends with everyone.
it didn't matter what race they were,
whether they were boy or girl,
or short or tall,
(maybe spencer had friends in preschool).

if this doesn't prove my point that
an ideal world should be based of
the lives of preschoolers,
then i would get your head checked,
because FACE IT! i'm RIGHT!
as always, b`adge if you read this!

xoxoxooxoxox,
fearglobalwarming

what makes us different
a strange rant you probably don't want to read.

hey guys! sorry, i've been SO BUSY until yesterday
with TECH NIGHT (where nerds gather to discuss
all their scientific equations and mend their broken glasses)
hopefully we're back to the normal rant schedule.
this is not an amazing rant, just to keep you occupied
as i write more rants!!!! i have 17 drafts, but none finished!!!!

in a generation full of 100% artificial
(if you catch my drift...),
look-a-like, wannabe, fashion-conscious,
identical people, it's especially important
to keep our own identities different from
every other single person in the world
by having our own special things that make
us different.

i know it sounds corny and u don't want to read on,
but what if i said this-- if such habits continue,
the world will one day be FULL of people that are
EXACT replicas of one another.
they look exactly alike, have the same clothes,
same personalities, same hobbies, etc...
scare you?

i know i know, i read far too much michael crichton,
but we're already halfway there.

it's not about being a person anymore,
it's about being an 'identity' that is attractive
to everyone.

it starts out with changing your personality,
interests, hobbies, and style to boost yourself
in the social world. if you start wearing snakeskin,
maybe you'll make a new friend, or get a date.
this is not too bad, because personalities, interests,
hobbies, and styles change anyways.
that's just part of natural life. we think that
these things are meant to change. but then it gets worse...

if you don't like your hair, just go die it.
don't like your figure? go "modify" it.
eventually, technologies will allow us to "edit"
our genes (or play God) (I KNOW,
i read TOO much michael crichton!)
at this point, we'll think that these things are
"supposed" to change as well.
it WILL seem natural to us.

this may sound like rubbish (<- with an english accent)
but to get your bad`ge,
you'll have to tell me three things that
make you different from ANYONE else.

cheesey, i know. but see my example:

1. i send ranting/rambly emails about nothing
in particular, and then reward the readers with
"badges" that I make with GIMP
2. i make videos on youtube to entertain myself,
ie about my socks, freerice, environment, etc.
that actually could be meaningful if ANYONE
cared to watch them!!! x-(
3. my mind works in a strange strange strange way.
i go through life observing instead of living,
and attempt to capture it all later through
art, music, rants, and rambles.......................